Hi Debbie

I am sorry to hear you are feeling like this, have you spoken to your Nurse or Doctor at all? It must be difficult for you but have you spoken to your partner about how you feel? I can't say I have encountered the same problems as yourself but I have been through bouts of very low mood since being diagnosed last year and have felt worthless and useless as I'm not capable of doing things like I used to before. I always try and talk to my husband about how I feel though.

I hope you start to feel a bit better about yourself and can begin to say how you are feeling.

It's a long road but honestly you are not alone.

Please keep in touch.

Lisa xx

I read a good information leaflet on RA and its effects on relationships when I first started with RA. I think it is downloadable in the publications - will check and see XX Ailsa

Right then Debs.......Auntie Paula here giving you a few words of wisdom.

The reason why your husband is still with you is simple.....HE LOVES YOU!!!!!! and don't forget that.

Now down to the nitty gritty bit.

I've often wondered how younger people cope with the bedroom antics side of things when RA is raging it's ugly head. I don't think that it is a subject raised when talking about it at hospital not unless the patient brings it up. I know when my RA's been bad bedroom Olympics would be the last on my list of priorities, just getting undressed and into bed was an achievement. It's been talked about here before so if you do some searching you will find the threads.

You really must talk to your husband about how you feel, tell him that you love him but physically you are not up to it at the moment. Tell him you still need kisses, hugs, and gentle caresses, but you don't won't to feel under pressure to do the deed. That way you both know what's what and you know that you will not be under pressure for the grand fanale.

NRAS have a booklet called Emotions, Relationships and Sexuality (the girls in the office called it 50 shades of RA). There is a section in there that a covers this it gives advice.

http://www.nras.org.uk/h...x?id=a0BC000000OBb9RMAT

Just order a copy, it is interesting.

I see from your other thread that you have been to the doctors and got some anti depressants, I hope that they soon kick in and you are feeling more like yourself soon.

Love Paula xx